I started putting Christmas away yesterday. It has been so hard, the tears won't stop. Mom loved Christmas. Her home was so happy and Merry at Christmas. It was so fun to be home around Christmas. I packed up all her santa's and snow village to be stored for next year. I didn't even think it would cause me to shed tears like it has. I woke up about 1:00 in the morning missing her desperately. The feeling is still with me today. I used to tell her the times she was missing dad so much was when he was the nearest. I hope she is near me. I just want to call her and visit. I loved our visits. I am so grateful I grew up in a home where we were loved and taught to live the gospel. I am so grateful of my mothers example of what a mother is and what home is. Home was my mother!
3 comments:
Leslie,
I've been crying, too, all morning long. I couldn't find a recipe so I started looking through mom's to find it. I wanted to call her, and couldn't. I started crying and started missing her so much. It was so easy to just get on the phone and call her when I needed to ask a question on a recipe. I can't do it anymore. Reality is setting in.
I got out her recipe box and found the recipe I needed. I was amazed at all the recipes she had shared with me over the years and all the dishes that I regularly fix for my own family. I couldn't stop crying. Where was my mother! I just wanted to hear her voice.
And then to make matters worse, I got on the computer and started looking at pictures. I came across the picture of mom and dad's headstone with both their death dates on it. The tears started to flow again. It just doesn't seem possible that she is gone. I miss mom so much, too. I wanted to call you or Kelley because I have been such a boob today, but I thought you would be busy with New Year's plans.
I haven't put mom's nativity or carolers away yet. I know it will be another hard day when I do. How do we get the comfort we need Leslie? I am yearning so much for her.
you should have both called me today because I have been very sad too. I can't bring myself to put my Christmas away either. And to top it off when I went out to the cemetery to get dad's tree (because it was warm today) somebody had stolen it! I was devestated and felt unsettled all day. I think it will be quite awhile before we feel comfortable with being orphans.
I guess we should all had a conference call. I spent all New Years Eve and New Years day being alone and missing Mom so much. I longed to pick up the phone and give her a call, but I knew all I would get was the disconnect notice. I didn't know I could get so lonely for someone like I do my Mom. I still hear her telling me that we wouldn't be having our daily chats for awhile and the tears just come. Mom I miss you so much.
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