When hope is gone.....

I had a interesting day yesterday. While I was working at the store a lady came in who had moved to Blanding about thirty years ago and I told her of a story that a man shared with me a week earlier. He used to run the Blanding Merc and told me a story about her kids. They didn't have much money and couldn't afford many luxuries in life. The store was giving away a bike. The kids entered the drawing and came back every day to look at the bike. The store owner said he was tempted the night before the drawing to find their name and declare them the winners. But he knew he couldn't do that and be honest and feel good about it. He said he tossed and turned and prayed all night that it would work out for these kids. He drew the name early Saturday morning and pulled out the name of one of these kids.

The other side of the story came from the mother. She said they had just moved to Blanding and were very poor and destitute at that point. She knew her kids wanted the bike very much. The night before the drawing she also prayed that if would be possible for her kids to win the bike. She was very thrilled when they did. The son that had won the bike committed suicide when he was 15. she said it has been twenty years ago this month since it happened. She has been having a very hard time with it this year but she said things like our little conversation have been happening a lot lately. She said one lady brought her over a picture of her son that she found recently and other little things that she believes that Heavenly Father is letting her know he is aware of her and her ache and suffering. She also shared a very tender story of my Father in law, Kirk Nielson. She said that they decided to go and do the temple work for this son but didn't feel that they should invite anyone along because of the circumstances of the death of her son. As they were going into the session they ran into Kirk and Maxine and told them why they were there. Kirk and MaXine decided they would stay another session and go with them. As this mother was sitting in the chapel she had some word come into her mind very clearly. After the session while they were still in Celestial room Kirk came up to her with tears streaming down his cheeks and said "All is well, All is well", She said these were the exact words that she heard in the Chapel.

I guess the point of this blog is that I believe we are being watched over and Heavenly Father is aware of out struggles. He is there , I think, more than we realize. Last night as we were doing the 21 days closer to Christ as I was reading the days message to my family, I wondered to myself if this wasn't doing anything for my kids and if I should move to something else that might possibly help them feel the Christmas spirit in a way they could understand. After I read the challenge we had a good discussion. Rye said the prayer for the night and he thanked Heavenly Father for this book and the things it was teaching us about Christ. It made me realize mabey they were learning more than I thought.

Yesterday's message was titled "When Hope is gone". My favorite quote was, "There is a moment of epiphany after the soul has doubted all it knows, when it begins to reach out for solid answers and firm ground. This moment is defined by one emotion that sustains and creates a desire for change. Before faith or knowledge is found, before joy or happiness is experienced, before the healing begins, one emotion starts to stir from deep within the depths of despair. It is hope. Hope is the light that will begin to lead through the darkest hour, whcih well enable us to move forward along the darkened path. "

In this Months Ensign President Eyring talks about listening to a Christmas song and his heart yearning to be home with family. " He said he was still at home ,but that yearning he knew was about a future place and life. Years later he went back to that home he grew up in . He said he realized then that the desire of my heart was not about being in a house. It was about being with my family, and it was a desire to feel enveloped in the love and the Light of Christ, even more than our little family had felt in the home of my childhood."


I hope I am not rambling to much and this makes sense. Year ago when I was going through a very difficult time in my life the scripture found in Ether about the Brother of Jared really touched my heart and spoke to my soul. As I had these experiences the last couple of days and the thing I read . I now know that during my trying time(When the mountain waves dashed upon me and drove me to the great deep) that as Brother of Jared I desired Light. Why did I desire light? Because it is hope. Hope in our Savior in his atoning sacrifice. As Pres. Eyring said, "Because of the Savior, you may have an assurance that you can go home not only at Chrismastime but also to live forever with a family whom you love and who love each other."

So at this Christmas time when I hear those wonderful Christmas Carols that make me yearn for home and peace I will understand better that I am yearning and feeling that hope of forever being in a place with people you love.